January Update

Christmas was great! I got loads of presents that I wanted, including lots of bottles of wine and cider. I’ve discovered that red wine gives me a headache so I’ve given that up. I enjoyed seeing my extended family on Christmas Day and Boxing Day and then sleeping a lot for the rest of that week and walking. New Year’s Eve was the best ever with a walk out and food in my favourite pub, then music and a drink with TV. I enjoyed Jools Holland, the fireworks at midnight and Robbie Williams live after midnight. The general opinion is that he was drugged up the eyeballs and singing flat. Thanks team I thought the atmosphere was quite good!

Into a New Year and resolutions. I am hoping to be less anxious and panicky and I guess I am slightly. Rome wasn’t built in a day and panic doesn’t disappear over night; it is a work in progress and I think too much. However, let me go back to my friend Joanna who also has apraxic speech. She blows me away with her brave attitude on her YouTube channel. She has used her talker so far as she was embarrassed that people wouldn’t understand her. Wow that’s me to a tee. However, I have just finished watching her blog (vlog) and in one she is using her talker and recounts a story about leaving it at home and her coach telling her to use her voice. That is what people tell me. her advice is use your voice first and if people don’t understand use your talker. Then her Christmas video blog she just talks and she sounds great and we all understood her. That was a lesson to me and I need to be more brave this year. I need to not give a **** what others think. I want to follow her example and be more brave. She stands up to be counted and so will I.

Today we did a Zoom meeting and recorded it so that I can practice social scenarios. We are doing more and I am going to get used to seeing and hearing myself. That is the first step before my YouTube channel. We are still having problems with setting up the talking PowerPoint so grandma has engaged someone to do it for us. Thanks Sefton for not answering emails and providing advice. Plus the ‘new’ computer is ****.  Grandma is sorting out more memory for it.

I am making good progress overall but need more time to get my foundation in place; I guess to catch up on missed years that damaged me emotionally. I can see that now I have contact with others with apraxic speech like Joanna. They had the right speech therapy from early on and I am a few years behind and emotionally scarred too. I am getting there but it’s harder but I can see my direction now, my trajectory.  Happy New Year! I am working on counting my blessings and gratitude. My team are great and take no hostages so I am hoping I end up a glass half full person. Instead of just liking my blog I want to know what you are each grateful for. Next time I will talk about karaoke. Have a good January.


Add Yours
  1. leahburman

    Dear Connor,

    Happy New Year. I enjoyed your blog. Joanna sounds an amazing role model. sorry about the effect of red wine!

    You ask what I am grateful for? I often think about this. It is the every day things like appreciating friends and family, the great people I meet through my work (like you), the things I can learn and achieve, and being healthy with a warm roof over my head, that often come to mind. There is so much if I bring things I take for granted into awareness, even when the going is tough,. A useful strategy if I’m feeling stressed. Hopefully this helps with your anxiety, too?

    Looking forward to seeing you soon,



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