Well I’ve not posted for a while. Life got hectic and a bit overwhelming. Lots of change and sometimes that takes over and I then just need to get my head down. Then you look up and nearly a year has passed. Ive now got new speech and language therapists and my progress is much quicker. also I now use the Smart Palate system which will help me make quicker progress. My team has changed too and Alex has joined too. What have I learned about change? It passes and becomes history because you get used to it. No need to waste energy worrying about it. Really I feel happy with the changes now. I sometimes wonder about why I get so bothered about it. So what else is happening with me? I am still interested in my music and maybe too interested as its my main hobby.
I have this feeling lately that maybe I’m not good enough. Why is that? Some sociopath told me when I was younger that I had trouble speaking because I was bad – can you believe that? I’ve tried to rationalise it but am struggling with believing I’m a good person. I use Padesky materials to analyse it and there’s no evidence to support this at all. I guess tell a child often enough that they’re bad and they will believe it partly or in moments when they feel low that critical inner voice will have a dig. So how am I dealing with it?
- I’m telling myself to believe what those I trust tell me. Life shouldn’t be complex so if everyone around you tells you there is nothing bad about you then simply believe them.
- I’m trying to be kind to myself on the basis that if I’m not then no one else will be. Life is too short to beat yourself up.
- I’m trying not to chase after negative thoughts. Did you ever see that cartoon about thoughts, emotions and fears as cars passing by on the road. This little man gets stressed running out into the road frantically chasing each one and wears himself out by doing this. Well that’s me at the moment. The little man is then shown sitting back at the edge of the road chilled and zen-like. The moral of the story is that we experience a wide range of emotions and thoughts and we should observe and acknowledge them and get on with living life and work on letting thoughts go.
I will let you know next time how I get on with this. at least I have a plan. Talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for listening.